So a few months of back and forth later and I was ready, I had made the decision to leave college and make my escape from a life I truly hated, he had been driving down at weekends to stay with me but I needed more, every time he left it got harder and harder to deal with the space he left in my tiny room at my mum’s, I felt empty 5 days out of the week and if I’m honest my life stopped every time he stepped out the door.
We would drive to Lakeside and sit on the rocks right on the water’s edge, it was winter and cold but I had his arms to keep me warm as we sat looking out together into the night, it was here he threw his ring into the water from the bridge, I shouted out in shock, “it gives us something to come back for” he explained, grin across his face, I know it was cheesy but it melted my heart all the same. Even now I miss those days, everything was so simple, the distance my stomach would sink every Sunday night when he would leave, the overwhelming happiness I felt as we laughed over stupid shit and the ten beats my heart skipped every time he told me he loved me.
I asked for my savings early, I wasn’t supposed to get them until I turned 18 the following March but it was almost Christmas, so my granddad agreed, I have never been so afraid and so excited in my whole life, I was in love, and for love I was moving to the city, leaving behind my education, friends and family and the guy I used to be.
the apartment wasn’t quite ready for us so we stayed with his family for a week or two, it already felt so alien, but for that two weeks I just kept my focus on him, I remember us being crammed onto an air bed that would forever slowly deflate leaving us both on the floor by morning and the uncomfortable feeling I got around his older brother, a feeling like I used to get at high school when I’d see a group of bullies heading my way, he gave me a nickname during my stay with them, ‘Casper’.
The apartment was perfect, small yes but ours, finally we were alone in our little home amongst the clouds and I had never felt higher.
I could finally breathe, I had done it, I had escaped my past.
Who would have thought that the boy dressed head to toe in black would become my saviour, my knight in shining armour, the one to pull me from the grey.