Chamomile Tea

It was late, my eyes still hadn’t closed like they should have. I could feel his warmth beside me yet I’d never felt so cold as I watched the shadows change across the celling. My heart felt heavy as it kept me anchored to the bed.

Pounding.

Pounding.

Pounding.

The noise of my heartbeat was the only sound filling my ears. Terrified to move yet so compelled to.  I had to know.

My left foot was the first to touch the floor while the rest of me stayed as still as I could. All I wanted to do was slip my leg back under the cover, wrap my arm around his waist and hold him so tight, tight enough to make me forget, to make these feelings stop. 

Before I could blink I was stood in the dark, his phone in my hand and my eyes scanning as much as they could as they adjusted to the light. I longed to be wrong but I needed to be right and I was. I was so right.

The drumming had stopped and everything was silent. 

I turned to look at him in the dark, he used to look like an angel as he slept but my eyes were different now.

I slipped out of the room leaving him there with his dreams, hoping I was in them.

The sofa had never felt so big, or maybe I just felt so small. I held my cup to my lips and sipped my chamomile tea, listening to my heart breaking in the dark. 

 

 

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