Today I walked past a house and through the window i could see their Christmas tree, still up, still shining full of lights even in February. I didn’t even mind, in a way I completely understood how it felt to hold on to something good for as long as possible, something that brings you joy.
They were holding onto Christmas almost as much as I’ve been holding onto my love for me and you.
Your face as we sat on our floor bed at St Helens, your hands on the strings of your guitar as I sang to you. Outside in our dressing gowns with nothing but each other and the stars.
If truth be told, it was beautiful.
I’m holding on to you like my hands clutched the rope of that swing we found in the trees, just like your hands grasped mine as you pulled me from that hole in the snow. My breath on your neck as I’d spoon you to sleep and the sound of the words ‘I love you’ as they ran from your lips straight into my ears. That feeling of belonging, of truly feeling loved.
You see I am never going to judge a person for holding onto what they love, we all walk around doing the same in one way or another.
I know in time I have to let you go as I walk forward into my future without you, but for now I’m still happy to walk in the company of our memories.
It would have been Flamborough by the way.
It would have been there, I just thought you should know…