33 day’s I had waited to see his face, I wanted to write about it but I’ve left it too long and now the memory has gone along with the words and what I had said.
I just remember drowning, drowning us both in a flood I was creating myself. I broke the dam and I couldn’t stop it.
33 days of ocean storm emotions, crashing down on us inside his car.
Waves crashing into his chest, breaking him, I was breaking him with my broken heart.
I remember his face, the sadness in his eyes, tears down his face and I hate myself for that.
I didn’t mean to, I’d missed him too much but the alcohol had taken control.
33 days of imaginary conversations only to not remember a single real spoken word, well…
besides the words ‘I still love you’
I told him I still love him…
I don’t even remember how he responded to that but I am sorry for saying it.
I wasn’t fair.
After the exhaustion of treading water for what felt like hours, I finally opened the car door at past 3am and let all the water out.
33 day’s just to break. 33 day’s just to drown us.