33 day’s I had waited to see his face, I wanted to write about it but I’ve left it too long and now the memory has gone along with the words and what I had said.
I just remember drowning, drowning us both in a flood I was creating myself. I broke the dam and I couldn’t stop it.
33 days of ocean storm emotions, crashing down on us inside his car.
Waves crashing into his chest, breaking him, I was breaking him with my broken heart.
I remember his face, the sadness in his eyes, tears down his face and I hate myself for that.
I didn’t mean to, I’d missed him too much but the alcohol had taken control.
33 days of imaginary conversations only to not remember a single real spoken word, well…
besides the words ‘I still love you’
I told him I still love him…
I don’t even remember how he responded to that but I am sorry for saying it.
I wasn’t fair.
After the exhaustion of treading water for what felt like hours, I finally opened the car door at past 3am and let all the water out.
Fuck!
33 day’s just to break. 33 day’s just to drown us.
The Life And Death Of Love 
Don’t give up on it, you deserve happiness, you always have.
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thank you, finding happiness doesn’t seem to be the problem, it’s the having it stick around part that does! ha but! I haven’t given up this far and I always live in hope 🙂 thanks for taking time to read and comment!
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